Loose beads - Part #4

So far my New Year’s Resolutions are well put into life. I’ve been to two exhibitions, one theatre play and a church concert, not to count two outings to the cinema. I guess that’s more than I did throughout the whole last year I enjoy it enormously, every piece. And here my problem starts. I first noticed it - please be understanding and don’t laugh out loud - after seeing a James Bond movie, I think it was "Tomorrow never dies". You must admit that although it is a nice movie, it is not a masterpiece which releases great emotions that we normally suppress deep down inside our souls. Nevertheless I left the cinema feeling completely depressed... I decided that my life was boring, dull, people around me (including myself) were ordinary and I had no excitement in my life. Compare that with beautiful people with supernatural skills, which occur profusely in James Bonds movies. Not only are they unusually talented and good-looking, but also rich. And everyday they wake up in another five star hotel situated in a different thrilling city like LA, Barcelona, Mexico City or Kuala Lumpur, way too distant for my budget. Ah... life hasn’t really been soft on me. I am deprived of elementary rights!

I am being sarcastic now, but I really felt that way. Explaining to myself that it is all glitter and trumpery and that such life would be insupportable in the long run wouldn’t help; or that if a famous director filmed my life, it would seem as exciting as that of a pop star. I felt unhappy and disadvantaged. Now, when I am a bit older and richer in experiences, I still sometimes feel this way, I sense this sad yearning to live the life of glamorous people we read about in glossy magazines. I called it sad, because it is one big lie. What you get to see is just a beautiful shining tip of the iceberg, underneath which there lie hard work and everyday human problems. They compensate for it by drinking the most expensive Champaign and by sleeping every night in a different part of the world. But how much Champaign can you drink? How tired would you feel after three seven-hour flights a week? How annoying it must feel to be recognized by everyone, wherever you go? I believe that even the most luxurious treatment won’t make up for it. I called it sad for another reason - because a lot of people, like I used to, think this is better and search for it all their lives. Well, you live, you learn. I hope most people at some point come to the conclusion that it is all fiction. I know it... You know it... But honestly - isn’t it why we go to the cinema after all?